Laughter - the best medicine

Joined
Aug 6, 2015
Messages
3,767
Location
Sunny Sussex
saw some people running down the street ,i stopped one and asked why they were all running ,he said that two lions had escaped from the local zoo.i said where are they ,he said ,well we aint bloody chasing them are we.
 

Slime

Tour Winner
Joined
Dec 2, 2011
Messages
9,858
Location
Surrey
A salesman was traveling through the countryside, selling insect repellent:​
He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer. “Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again, I guarantee it.”​
The farmer was dubious. “Young man, I’ll make you a proposition. I’ll tie you out in my cornfield buck naked, covered with that bug spray. If there is not a single bite on you come morning, I’ll buy a whole case from you.”​
The salesman was delighted.​
They went to the field and he stripped.​
The farmer sprayed him thoroughly with the bug spray and tied him to a stake. And back to the house went the farmer.​
The next morning, the farmer and his family trooped out to the cornfield. Sure enough, the salesman was there, hanging in his bonds, not a single bite on him. Yet he was a total wreck! Pale, ghastly, haggard and drawn, but not one bite on him.​
The farmer was perplexed. “Son.” He said, “Now, you don’t have a bite on you, but you look like hell! What the devil happened?”​
The salesman looked up through bloodshot eyes and croaked.​
“For crying out loud, Mister, doesn’t that calf have a Mother?”​

 
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