Laughter - the best medicine

Slime

Tour Winner
Joined
Dec 2, 2011
Messages
9,859
Location
Surrey
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

‘Hurry,’ she said, ‘stand in the corner.’

She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.

‘Don’t move until I tell you,’ she said. ‘Pretend you’re a statue.’

‘What’s this?’ the husband inquired as he entered the room.

‘Oh it’s a statue,’ she replied. ‘The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.’

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

‘Here,’ he said to the statue, ‘have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing'!
 

Slime

Tour Winner
Joined
Dec 2, 2011
Messages
9,859
Location
Surrey
As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast.
He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?"
One man stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray".

"Good" said the captain,

”you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets – we’re one short".
 

JollyRedDevil

Club Champion
Joined
Jan 5, 2016
Messages
148
Location
Birmingham
Dear Men, Gather round and pay close attention.
We are in severe danger.
We are now allowed out to play golf, great news but on the basis that all clubhouses are closed it is imperative that you do not go straight home after your round!
You MUST sit in your car for at least two hours afterwards! If we let them work out that it only takes three and a half hours we are screwed forever more! Remember that it is an absolute fact that any round of golf takes at least six hours and don’t let the side down.
Take a few beers with you when you go, then when you drive back home, park up out of sight of the house and have a beer, take a nap, check your mail on your phone, have another beer and another nap AND UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES RETURN HOME IN LESS THAN SIX HOURS! You owe it to your fellow men, don’t let the side down, we are in this together.
Preserve your man time, stay sane, drink beer and save your marriage! We owe it to our loved ones
 

bobmac

Major Champion
Joined
Feb 2, 2009
Messages
22,791
Location
Lincolnshire
True story.....
I was staying at an army barracks for the Edinburgh tattoo and me and a few mates were walking back from the mess/cook house in our RAF uniform.
We walked passed some guy in civvies who started shouting at us.
He said ''don't you salute army officers in the Air Force''
My mate replied ''we don't have any'' :ROFLMAO:
 

Traminator

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 6, 2020
Messages
2,475
True story.....
I was staying at an army barracks for the Edinburgh tattoo and me and a few mates were walking back from the mess/cook house in our RAF uniform.
We walked passed some guy in civvies who started shouting at us.
He said ''don't you salute army officers in the Air Force''
My mate replied ''we don't have any'' :ROFLMAO:
True story...
Officers in civvies don't get saluted....
 

NearHull

Active member
Joined
Dec 24, 2018
Messages
213
True story...
Officers in civvies don't get saluted....
I was instructed, back in the day, that if I was in uniform and wearing headdress and I recognised a Commissioned Officer who was out of uniform I was to salute said Officer. I believe that it was courtesy only.
 

rulefan

Tour Winner
Joined
Feb 21, 2013
Messages
8,181
I was instructed, back in the day, that if I was in uniform and wearing headdress and I recognised a Commissioned Officer who was out of uniform I was to salute said Officer. I believe that it was courtesy only.
I was told that you salute the uniform (rank) not the wearer.
 
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