Golf Club Cliché Characters

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Traminator

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The social misfit.
Always last to put his name down, always on the sheet on his own and doesn't really "get it".
 
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Traminator

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And beautifully this year - our Junior Captain is our 15yr old ladies golf star-in-the-making. She hit her drive way over the top of the hill on our first (most of us - including this year's Gents Captain - do well to just scrape to the top). Nice having a young lass sticking one up to all the Gents who moan about ladies and juniors :)
Unfortunately this leads nicely into our next two...
15 year old inseparable friends Hannah and Olivia.

Both have been mad keen golfers since Hannah's dad first took them to a group coaching session when they were 11.
They have about 50 trophies between them and two of the most beautiful swings you'll ever see.
Unfortunately they now feel totally out of place with the young kids, they don't fit in with the mainly elderly ladies section and frankly they're getting very aware of the creepy way a few of the adult men now look at and talk to them.
As soon as one of them decides enough is enough, they'll both decide not to renew their membership this year and will be lost to the game for about 30 years 😕😕
 

sunshine

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Just for a bit of fun...

Every club has them, the characters that everyone knows, even if you don't know them.

I'll start with "Shorts Guy"... wears shorts all year round, no matter the weather.

Normally between 35 and 55, Shorts Guy has a sturdy pair of permanently tanned legs always on show, the slight limp coming from his football/rugby days.

Solid, dependable member of the club who everyone likes, even if they've never spoken to him, enjoys the beer with his mates more than the golf, never won a trophy 🏆 apart from the odd winter league, never been seen at a formal event, handicap around 15.

Over to you 🙂
:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO: brilliant! Also to be spotted watching rugby in the bar.
 

sunshine

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That deluded middle aged fella who tells that many porkies he actually believes what he tells people. Used to be a Cat 1 golfer, caddy,semi pro footballer,cricketer,rugby player,ref,umpire, kit man, junior footballl coach etc.

Spends all his time talking a good game, giving advice, practicising,playing but never seems happy and still can’t chip or putt.
:ROFLMAO:

He also had trials with Chelsea / Leeds / insert local big club as a teenager.
 

sunshine

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14/15 year old wannabe pro.

Practices no end, lessons with specialists for each aspect of the game. Dad spends a fortune on lessons and sports psychologists &, new equipment every 6 months.

Some times has a really low score but generally just gets upset that a load of weekend golfers have lower handicaps and beat them.

Snaps & throws clubs and no one wants to play with him.
Brilliant. :ROFLMAO:

Also worth adding:
- refers to his "coach"
- has never carried his bag in his life
- has a very deliberate pre-shot routine
- spends ages lining up putts, and adopts techniques like aim-point
- does hit some great drives from time to time, and follows it up with a club twirl or other mannerism to indicate this is normal for them
 
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Unfortunately this leads nicely into our next two...
15 year old inseparable friends Hannah and Olivia.

Both have been mad keen golfers since Hannah's dad first took them to a group coaching session when they were 11.
They have about 50 trophies between them and two of the most beautiful swings you'll ever see.
Unfortunately they now feel totally out of place with the young kids, they don't fit in with the mainly elderly ladies section and frankly they're getting very aware of the creepy way a few of the adult men now look at and talk to them.
As soon as one of them decides enough is enough, they'll both decide not to renew their membership this year and will be lost to the game for about 30 years 😕😕
Such a pity that. We have a strong girls academy and strong girls juniors - indeed our 15yr old (may now be 16) starlet (among a load of other stuff she is current Surrey Ladies Country Champion) has a wee sister who is four years younger and according to our pro actually a more natural golfer. The 16yr old is now in the England ladies regional training squad and so on the ladder - and she is utterly dedicated to the game. Maybe having a wee sister improving all the time will push her on...

Unfortunately there is no accounting for the impact creepy guys might have on them both...
 

sunshine

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Right, some of us have to go to work (😉) so for this morning I leave you with Tristan.

41,single, accountant in the local small firm. Lives on his own, plays off 15 but is always on the verge of finding the next big breakthrough method on YouTube.

After eventually finding Aga on the internet, spent the best part of 12 hours "liking" every one of her posts on Facebook and Instagram.

Doesn't normally drink, but has recently discovered that the club sells Tyskie lager, so now orders it when Aga is at work. Has been trying out his new Polish language skills when he can corner Aga at the end of the bar, although strangely has never uttered a word to Wojtech, even though they played 18 holes together in the monthly Stableford last week....
Traminator / Tristan - same person? ;)
 

North Mimms

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The 'look at me' golfer (of any age) when wearing his outrageous patterned or brightly coloured golf gear (note that not all who wear this stuff are 'look at me' guys).

:)
Also known as Loudmouth Larry.
Only wears John Daly designed golf trousers, and owns at least 2 dozen pairs.
By the 11th hole playing with him, you have a migraine and can't putt because of the fluorescent glow appearing in the corner of your field of vision
 

North Mimms

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A couple of the Lady Members...

Pat the Pink Lady.
Raspberry colour golf bag containing clubs with pink grips and lilac flowers on the shaft.
Head covers are all fluffy kittens with pink glittery collars.
in summers wears pink 3/4 length trousers, baby pink polo shirt, pink visor .
Winter gear consists of matching bright pink waterproof trousers and jacket, bright pink beanie hat, and resembles a 5 foot 6 penis

Secret Weapon Susan.
Used to play tennis but took up golf when Hubby retired and started mentioning "Aga behind the bar" a bit too often.
Plays just enough to keep her 35 handicap but prefers to play 9 holes and then have a couple of games of Bridge with The Girls.
Plays Mixed Knockouts with Mr Susan who plays off 12 where they wipe the floor with the opposition thanks to her usefully high handicap
 

IanM

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Such a pity that. We have a strong girls academy and strong girls juniors - indeed our 15yr old (may now be 16) starlet (among a load of other stuff she is current Surrey Ladies Country Champion) has a wee sister who is four years younger and according to our pro actually a more natural golfer. The 16yr old is now in the England ladies regional training squad and so on the ladder - and she is utterly dedicated to the game. Maybe having a wee sister improving all the time will push her on...

Unfortunately there is no accounting for the impact creepy guys might have on them both...
Girl in my office was a County Player at the age of 15, Country Champ and England International.... packed in golf as it was creepy woman hitting on her. 15 years on, she only plays socially with her husband and the odd work outing. Breaks 80 from the mens' tees without really trying and having not played in months! :)
 

North Mimms

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"Almost Alfie"
Junior Club Champion, Runner Up in Club Championship.
Won a golf Scholarship to a second rate US University and disappeared without trace
 

murphthemog

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We had a young lass come to enquire about membership. She was about 14, dressed in a mini skirt. Mum dropped her off and waited in the car park.

10 minutes later, said girl exits the premesis in tears.

The immediate past lady Captain had acosted her outside the office, and had informed her she was dressed like a prostitute.

She joined Moor Park.
 

sunshine

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Semi-retired guy:

Ran his own small business, reasonably successfully, to the point he is now able to take a back seat after he sold it to a larger competitor. Drives a Merc AMG C63, PXG clubs in a massive tour bag perched on a remote controlled trolley in racing green. You can always hear him coming because his bag jangles with all the bag tags from Kingsbarns, Pebble etc. Permanently tanned - spends half the year abroad playing golf in the sun. Very popular in his clique - always organising little trips away to places like Turnberry.
 
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