Golf Club Cliché Characters

Crazyface

Tour Winner
Joined
Feb 27, 2010
Messages
4,722
Location
Cheshire
The old dude

Plays off 13-15 in his 60's pushing 70. Used to be a cat 1 player in his hayday. Still a Rolls Royce of a golf swing and mustard around the greens. You don't want to play him for cash.
Thoroughly nice guy with more stories than anybody. Still rides his bike and was a pretty decent footballer in his day.
My mates this, well about 63. Plays off 7. I've been 6 up on the 8th to him and lost, playing for a quid. Never ever play him at match play.
 

Bazzatron

Q-School Graduate
Joined
May 12, 2012
Messages
1,619
Location
Oldbury, west mids
The Blogger:

The relatively new phenomenon of golfer that has been playing average to crap golf for years with the odd good stableford. But now he has Internet access has decided to reinvent himself with a blog quest of 2 years to single figures or in search of Scratch.
Spends a fortune on lessons with varying pros because it's just not working, advocates funky ideas for chipping, pitching and swing technique to point they an expert despite still being rubbish and unable to break 90.

Chronicles everything in a blog for all to read but years on they're still as crap as ever.
It's going further now...company backed stooges that are usually quite attractive and expect us believe that one day they just fancied playing the game and got kitted out head to toe in matching kit.
 

Wolf

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 4, 2018
Messages
5,682
Location
Lincolnshire
It's going further now...company backed stooges that are usually quite attractive and expect us believe that one day they just fancied playing the game and got kitted out head to toe in matching kit.
Ah the buxom ones can't play in anything that's not skin tight or low cut.
 

therod

Money List Winner
Joined
Dec 22, 2008
Messages
5,967
Location
Dorset
I’ve got 3!
The mid handicap swing expert. Full of unsolicited swing advice. Never hits a bad shot without knowing what they did 🤣🤣🤣 ....after the event. Could be cat 1 except for an old football injury.....played in goal once, 25 years ago. Completely oblivious to their complete lack of ability.
The ‘moving clubs’ handicap cheat. Joins a club, puts in 3 cards. Gets a 12 handicap, hoovers up all the matchplay comps inc the scratch. transpires ‘yeah I used to be off 2, but I’ve not played much for a couple of years’!!!
The roll up handicap cheat. Maintains a 10 handicap whilst playing the minimum 3 qualifiers a year. Never scoring well in these, but never scoring below 40 points in the non qualifier roll up. Competes year on year in the knockouts, usually winning the pairs with the club sec 🤣🤣🤣🤣 moans about the club mover with no sense of irony as was knocked out by him in 2 semis last year.🤣🤣🤣

All knobs, all boring, all no chat except golf 🤣🤣
 

Wolf

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 4, 2018
Messages
5,682
Location
Lincolnshire
it amazes me how Paige Spirenac can swing a club given her assets. I've zoomed right in and used HD super slow mo and I'm still none the wiser
I have done the same with Paige & Lucy Robson in the interest of working out how to get a full backswing with light grip pressure 🤣

Even Mrs Wolf has watched them and couldn't work it out so I volunteered to keep watching to work it out....
 

Dando

Q-School Graduate
Joined
Nov 3, 2014
Messages
3,867
Location
Se London
I have done the same with Paige & Lucy Robson in the interest of working out how to get a full backswing with light grip pressure 🤣

Even Mrs Wolf has watched them and couldn't work it out so I volunteered to keep watching to work it out....
I admire your dedication
 

Liverbirdie

Ryder Cup Winner
Joined
Jul 14, 2011
Messages
12,050
Location
liverpool
I don't think anyone has done the corporate golfer yet, apologies if I missed that post. They play once or twice a year but it is about being top dog still. Brash in the meeting lounge beforehand, decked in a combination of Hugo Boss and Loudmouth trousers as they HAVE to be seen, they have to be noticed :cool:. You get to the putting green and you see they have a sparkling new bag, new clubs, all matching. You see them in the bar afterwards, they are still brash, loud, talking people through their good shots and more importantly, loudly ribbing their team mates. Luckily as part of the day someone has videod each group and so we get to see he is useless :eek:. The swing is ugly, he duffs, thins, shanks, hooks, the full works. He stands up, takes a bow and then goes back to picking on the weakest member of his 4 ball to distract everyone else.

The benefit of the corporate golfer is they buy brand new, flash balls and the rest of us get to benefit as we find them sprayed about the course.
And they normally win the big prize at the corporate day, as they are one of the host's biggest customers, as well.(y)
 
Joined
Jul 24, 2012
Messages
22,190
The 'look at me' golfer (of any age) when wearing his outrageous patterned or brightly coloured golf gear (note that not all who wear this stuff are 'look at me' guys).

And for me one rather cringeworthy golf club cliche is the 'tunnel' of raised golf clubs through which the new Gents, Ladies and Junior Captains have to walk on their way to the first tee on Captains Drive-In day. Yes I know it is for many a much-cherished tradition - however...

At least the Junior Captain usually has the decency to cringe in total embarrassment before smacking their golf ball further than the combined distance of the Ladies plus Gents Captains drives :) And beautifully this year - our Junior Captain is our 15yr old ladies golf star-in-the-making. She hit her drive way over the top of the hill on our first (most of us - including this year's Gents Captain - do well to just scrape to the top). Nice having a young lass sticking one up to all the Gents who moan about ladies and juniors :)
 
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