Golf Club Cliché Characters

Joined
Aug 5, 2018
Messages
584
The ones who lie about stuff really are odd. I chatted with a guy recently who suggested that he knew an 8-handicapper that was better than any scratch golfer. The 8-handicapper purposely missed putts because he was happy off 8. He also let players win the first few holes in matchplay to challenge himself, but he would always end up winning on the 18th hole.

What a weird thing to make up! I mean, what do you get out of that?
 

Stuart_C

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Liverpool
The ones who lie about stuff really are odd. I chatted with a guy recently who suggested that he knew an 8-handicapper that was better than any scratch golfer. The 8-handicapper purposely missed putts because he was happy off 8. He also let players win the first few holes in matchplay to challenge himself, but he would always end up winning on the 18th hole.

What a weird thing to make up! I mean, what do you get out of that?
strange. Some people are just compulsive liars. I genuinely feel sorry for them, I think they feel they need to tell lies to try and fit in.
 

lobthewedge

Challenge Tour Pro
Joined
Oct 15, 2010
Messages
681
Location
Lanarkshire
The George Best
Middle aged but been a member since he was a junior. Beer belly and heavy smoker, usually found at the end of the bar underneath the honours board or swearing at the fruit machine. Won the club championship on multiple occasions as a youngster and did well at county. Usually has a tale about beating a well known tour pro and how he could've made it but he just didn't get the breaks.
Truth is he couldn't be arsed practicing and pissed away what talent he had.
Off about 9 nowadays, but usually no returns except for the annual 'still got it round' in the mid 70's.
 
Thread starter #44

Traminator

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Apr 6, 2020
Messages
1,433
White Van Alpha Male,

Took up golf 5 years ago when he turned 40.
Owns his own building/roofing/decorating company and has to park his big van in the corner of the car park.
Big and loud, has quickly become a key player in the social scene, getting on well with everyone, especially the lady members, and sponsored the Juniors team shirts this year.
His "smart golfing attire" is cargo shorts, brightly coloured golf polo (not tucked in of course), white socks and black golf shoes, but somehow nobody cares.
Had a couple of lessons when he started, bunts it round off 17 now, already been asked if he'd be up for the Captain's job, which he'll probably take in the next couple of years.
Loves a drink, as his historical driving licence record bears witness to 🍻.
 

Stuart_C

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Brilliant thread, let's hope it doesnt magically disappear 🤭🤭

I read posts and instantly puts a name of members from my ex clubs to each one 😂😂
 
Thread starter #51

Traminator

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Right, some of us have to go to work (😉) so for this morning I leave you with Tristan.

41,single, accountant in the local small firm. Lives on his own, plays off 15 but is always on the verge of finding the next big breakthrough method on YouTube.

After eventually finding Aga on the internet, spent the best part of 12 hours "liking" every one of her posts on Facebook and Instagram.

Doesn't normally drink, but has recently discovered that the club sells Tyskie lager, so now orders it when Aga is at work. Has been trying out his new Polish language skills when he can corner Aga at the end of the bar, although strangely has never uttered a word to Wojtech, even though they played 18 holes together in the monthly Stableford last week....
 

drive4show

Ryder Cup Winner
Joined
Jul 16, 2011
Messages
12,996
Location
Poole, Dorset
Agnieszka (Aga),

28 year old MILF behind the bar. Graduated from Gdansk University with a degree in Business Management, speaks fluent English, German and her native Polish.
Hardest working member of the catering staff, 99% of the male members, 65% of the lady members, all the Juniors, Maureen and the Secretary all dream of sleeping with her, and she plays them like a fiddle.
Her long term boyfriend, Wojtech the assistant greenkeeper, has that pleasure though.
Her name is actually Monica and she works in our halfway hut on midweek days :)
 

Dando

Q-School Graduate
Joined
Nov 3, 2014
Messages
3,805
Location
Se London
The tinny guy. Always has a couple of beers before teeing off, and several cans in the bag for the round. Is adamant a few sharpeners makes him play better.
Stops on each hole to off load excess fluids.
I played golf with a guy who got through 6 tins of special brew during the round. best bit was, we teed off at 6.45am!
 

Stuart_C

Money List Winner
Joined
Nov 18, 2008
Messages
9,534
Location
Liverpool
Right, some of us have to go to work (😉) so for this morning I leave you with Tristan.

41,single, accountant in the local small firm. Lives on his own, plays off 15 but is always on the verge of finding the next big breakthrough method on YouTube.

After eventually finding Aga on the internet, spent the best part of 12 hours "liking" every one of her posts on Facebook and Instagram.

Doesn't normally drink, but has recently discovered that the club sells Tyskie lager, so now orders it when Aga is at work. Has been trying out his new Polish language skills when he can corner Aga at the end of the bar, although strangely has never uttered a word to Wojtech, even though they played 18 holes together in the monthly Stableford last week....
Some of us would love the opportunity to go to work 😡
 
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