Golf Club Cliché Characters

Joined
Apr 22, 2012
Messages
3,262
Definitely got one of those that ticks several boxes including freezing over the ball, taking anything from 25 to 42 seconds as once timed over the ball (god knows what goes through their head) will wander off into the trees and rough to scavenge balls and somehow their group will lose a minimum of a hole, probably two and despite the rest urging him to speed up so they can try and reduce the gap and keep ahead of the group behind will still freeze over the ball, still nip off down a hole via the rough looking for balls and oblivious to the pace of play
...and the rest of his group try to compensate by playing their shots very quickly and their games go to pot
 

HomerJSimpson

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Aug 6, 2007
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64,652
Location
Bracknell - Berkshire
...and the rest of his group try to compensate by playing their shots very quickly and their games go to pot
Correct. They'll be some "banter" about how long the group in front have been in the bar and he'll be adamant the group hadn't lost ground, had got round "bang on 4 hours" as though that is some kind of standard time with no hint that perhaps we could have done it in 3.45 instead and oblivious that he's causing a problem
 
Joined
Oct 16, 2013
Messages
2,882
The weekend loudmouth. You can hear them across the clubhouse and across the course. Always want to go out first in the roll-up for no other reason outside of wanting to go first. Usually drives a large 4x4 and has no concern for anyone else at the club or in life.
 

sunshine

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Dec 17, 2018
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1,057
The weekend loudmouth. You can hear them across the clubhouse and across the course. Always want to go out first in the roll-up for no other reason outside of wanting to go first. Usually drives a large 4x4 and has no concern for anyone else at the club or in life.
4x4 always parked across two spaces.
Has one of those remote controlled trollies, which he sends whizzing all over the course.
 

NearHull

Active member
Joined
Dec 24, 2018
Messages
181
4x4 always parked across two spaces.
Has one of those remote controlled trollies, which he sends whizzing all over the course.
Tries to manipulate the draw so that he can play with the single figure handicappers as he sees himself as their golfing equivalent despite having a 15 handicap and struggling. Self driving trolley contains full set of latest ‘must have ‘ clubs.
 

GB72

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Joined
May 8, 2007
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10,334
Location
Rutland
A New Occurance, The Covid Denier.

Determined that it will not affect them in any way, has no regard for social distancing despite being told and spends most of the round bemoaning how we really should just man up and get on with it. Likely to have a case of beer in the boot of the car so as he can encourage the rest of the group to have a beer and eat their clubhouse 'takeaway' in the car park afterwards in an open show of rebellion against the clubhouse being closed. He was the first to suggest that 2 balls should join up as soon as they are out of the clubhouse before 4 balls were allowed and is constantly trying to find ways to get the roll up going again despite the social distancing restrictions. Likely to turn up at the club on the off chance of finding a game as they have never had to book before and don't see why they should start now. When they do have to book, they look for as many ways as possible to circumnavigate the restrictions on weekly tee times.

OK, this one is a bit extreme but only an amalgamation of stories I have heard about behavior since the courses re-opened.
 

IanM

Journeyman Pro
Joined
May 18, 2009
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4,855
Location
Monmouthshire, UK via Guildford!
Another recent one--- just had a Whats App to confirm!!

Covid-lowboy!!
18 handicapper, decent player generally, but always has the odd meltdown to stop him being much lower. Now only playing friendly 2 balls off the yellow tees, plenty of gimmes and regularly reporting 39 points plus with 2 or 3 blobs!

Fear not, white tee medals when they return will reinstate the usual tale of triumph and disaster! :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
 

Papas1982

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Joined
Jan 21, 2013
Messages
7,528
Location
Canterbury
Another recent one--- just had a Whats App to confirm!!

Covid-lowboy!! 18 handicapper, decent player generally, but always has the odd meltdown to stop him being much lower. Now only playing friendly 2 balls off the yellow tees, plenty of gimmes and regularly reporting 39 points plus with 2 or 3 blobs!

Fear not, white tee medals when they return will reinstate the usual tale of triumph and disaster! :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
Nice to see I'm on the list 😂😂
 

GG26

Challenge Tour Pro
Joined
Aug 3, 2015
Messages
1,150
Another recent one--- just had a Whats App to confirm!!

Covid-lowboy!!
18 handicapper, decent player generally, but always has the odd meltdown to stop him being much lower. Now only playing friendly 2 balls off the yellow tees, plenty of gimmes and regularly reporting 39 points plus with 2 or 3 blobs!

Fear not, white tee medals when they return will reinstate the usual tale of triumph and disaster! :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
Sounds like me too 🤣. Been burning up the course with rounds of 45pts until decided to put in a card yesterday and recorded 34pts.
 

Karl102

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Joined
Mar 16, 2008
Messages
2,631
Location
Cheshire
Mr GPS

Has the latest £400 + Garmin watch, plus a Bushnell Lazer, and a handheld GPS which he pays a subscription for. Still downloads the apps for his phone as well! Oh and to top it off, he has a brand new trolley with the GPS on the screen!

Only hits his driver 175 yards....
 
Joined
Jul 24, 2012
Messages
22,140
The 28 handicapper who truly doesn't understand why he can score gross 15 over one day and the next be hardly able to move the ball in a forward direction (I exaggerate but you get the idea) - and boy does he get so very frustrated and angry (don't we all). But as he is such a nice guy you really don't want to tell him why...instead you kindly skirt around the truth with little hints here and there and words about how tough the game is and how inconsistency is part and parcel of what we have to put up with. But you suspect that he's not really listening.

And so I just get on playing my own versions of just the same. Inconsistency, frustration and just not listening or wanting to be told - but every so often... :)
 
Thread starter #299

Traminator

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Joined
Apr 6, 2020
Messages
1,947
Mr GPS

Has the latest £400 + Garmin watch, plus a Bushnell Lazer, and a handheld GPS which he pays a subscription for. Still downloads the apps for his phone as well! Oh and to top it off, he has a brand new trolley with the GPS on the screen!

Only hits his driver 175 yards....
But at least he knows it's 175 😅
 
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