Dementia Awareness

Aug 7, 2015
Newton Mearns
How I sympathise with you.
My father in law moved in with us two weeks ago following the passing of my mother in law. It has been difficult adjusting especially for my wife as we repeat things to him loads of times but he doesn't take it in. That ours is his home now, that he cannot leave the house on his own, that he has money in the bank but doesn't need to worry about it. He often asks to go to bed at 6pm before he has had dinner and when he does go to bed he can be up two or three times a night putting on his clothes. His personal and eating habits have deteriorated which is embarrassing for him and us. He is not particularly interested in television and watches the odd programme via the reflection in our French windows. Fortunately we have an excellent dementia day centre that he attends twice a week giving my wife a break. Strangely it was only last night that he mentioned the funeral for the first time which is taking place next Monday.
From being a top civil servant in London to where he is at now is truly sad but we will persevere until such time as it becomes too much to cope with.
You have my sympathies as well. This is probably one of the hardest parts for you as you all have to adjust and it has a tremendous and impact on your life and relationship. If you work from home, it also impacts on that as well. It can be very disruptive at times.
It's going to be hard for yourself and your wife but hopefully you can make your way through it together. I'd try to encourage him to stay up as long as possible. That way then he is less likely to get up in the middle of the night. We've had that with us as well. I could suggest making sure you have blackout blinds or curtains in his room so that he doesn't wake you up at first light.
My Father in Law has been living with us for the last 16 years in his grandad flat at the back but it's only in the last 12-18 months when he has gradually got worse that he has become much more reliant on us.
I have to admit, I have found it helpful just to come on here and type stuff. It's a relief of some sort. Feel free to do the same anytime.
Dec 30, 2019
An hour northwest of Boston
It's truly terrible. My dad had it at my age and died just a year older than I am now.
I would rather be humanely euthanized than finish my life as he did his.
In every practical way, he died years before he died.
I guess that I should be thankful for having had him when I really needed him.

I was never exposed to dementia awareness courses, but this is of course America and we don't have the social support net that more civilized nations have.
I'm sure that I would have benefitted from something like that.
I just remember going to the nursing home every day after work and wheeling him around the grounds so that he'd get some fresh air.
He didn't know who I was.


Challenge Tour Pro
Dec 11, 2011
East Sussex
A bit of a shame today, just had a phone call to say that the respite home has had to temporarily close down with immediate effect. Still offering the occasional home visit so may settle for that.