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  1. #1
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    Private Schools... is it what it is cracked to be & not just toff?

    There are a few private schools around here and being Surrey, you can see some really posh cars going in and out of these. I am pretty sure that fees are not cheap either. The received wisdom was its for a very privileged section of the society.

    I played a round with someone recently and got talking. He was middle class, 50+ and recently started golf after the kids flew the nest. Interesting conversation with him which changed my perception of private families. In a nutshell he put 2 kids thru private schooling and they earned top grades and went to good university and now into strong jobs in the city.

    The bit that changed my view was when he mentioned that they did not go to many good holidays or other luxuries so that they could pay for the kids to go to pvt school. He did mention that there is a gulf among the kids and he has dropped off the kids to play dates/birthdays to big houses

    Now the kids have flown, he has the money (and time) to play.. plus he has rediscovered his wife and they go on hols. so looks like not everyone is not rolling in it at these schools after all.

  2. #2
    Tour Winner CliveW's Avatar
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    Re: Private Schools... is it what it is cracked to be & not just toff?

    I sent my two sons to private school in Edinburgh back in the late 90s. I was self employed at the time and it was a great sacrifice to afford the fees. I worked from 8am to 7pm six days a week for eight years to pay for their education. We had no family holidays and we didn't drive a fancy car, but it was paid for. I couldn't afford to pay into a private pension either but to me it was worth it to give them the best opportunity I could.

    Private schooling (Or public as it's called in England) now seems to be the preserve of "New" money as most children are from families who can afford the best whereas a generation ago it was the likes of solicitors, bankers and gentry who sent their kids to private schools.

    Neither of my boys went on to university, but they both have jobs they enjoy and are extremely happy.

    Would I send them there if I had the choice again? Probably not, but I feel I have given the best start in life I could.

  3. #3
    Grand Slam Winner murphthemog's Avatar
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    Re: Private Schools... is it what it is cracked to be & not just toff?

    I went to public school. My parents were not minted. Was it worth the sacrifice? Probably not. It gave me a good education, taught me independance early, but also in being independant, it taught me a lot of bad habits. If I had kids, and I don't, I would keep them at home, and make the little blighters work like a trojan.

  4. #4
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    Re: Private Schools... is it what it is cracked to be & not just toff?

    Quote Originally Posted by murphthemog View Post
    I went to public school. My parents were not minted. Was it worth the sacrifice? Probably not. It gave me a good education, taught me independance early, but also in being independant, it taught me a lot of bad habits. If I had kids, and I don't, I would keep them at home, and make the little blighters work like a trojan.
    A friend of mine went to Boarding school and is doing really well. But for the life in her, she would never send her kids to Boarding..

  5. #5
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    Re: Private Schools... is it what it is cracked to be & not just toff?

    Going off at a slight tangent and not intentionally hijacking the thread, I was "fortunate" enough to get into a grammar school.
    Up until that point, I had excelled in education, but the grammar schooling just did not work for me - I believe that I would have been much better going to a regular state comprehensive.
    Add into the mix that the school was single sex (boys), I think that did not help me in life (coming from a male only family environment after my mother left in my younger years).

    I guess that the point that I am trying to make is that different forms of education (private/public, grammar, comprehensive, mixed/single sex) suit people differently.

  6. #6
    Ryder Cup Winner patricks148's Avatar
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    Re: Private Schools... is it what it is cracked to be & not just toff?

    i went to both prep school and public and Boarded, taught me lot about self reliance, managed to go to a good university and get a job in the city.

    We don't have any children, but if we did i wouldn't hesitate to send mine

  7. #7
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    Re: Private Schools... is it what it is cracked to be & not just toff?

    Full disclosure in that my daughter goes to a private all girls school. Yes they are not cheap but we started saving when she was born to give her the opportunity if she wanted to go and passed the entrance tests. And you could argue that if we wanted a house like ours in an area near a sought after comp, then over the length of a mortgage, we would have probably paid more than the school fees to have it. Whilst we do OK, we are not hugely well paid, but as we started saving 11 years ago we have just cut our cloth accordingly when it comes to how we spend our money over the years. But there is no way we could have suddenly found the money to send her if we hadn't of saved up.

    There are many types of private schools and there is a big difference between say Eton which probably gives the impression that all private school are full of toffs, and other ones. Yes at my daughters school there are a few posh kids from massive houses, but there are also many whose parents just do normal jobs and who live in normal houses and have saved up.

    I did not want her to go just to get A star grades as you can mostly do that by hiring tutors if you are that way inclined. For me it was to build her the confidence as a girl, for the pastoral care, for the small class sizes, to get her in a classroom where the vast majority of the kids want to be there, the facilities and just to give her the opportunity to do the best she can. The new head is brilliant as she researches loads about what makes girls happy at school, how girls learn and what they need to succeed at school, and she really focuses on this. In fact in the speech she gave to prospective parents the GCSE/A level grades made up about 1% of her presentation.

    I am a chair of governors at a state school (which my daughter did go to) and whilst I know that teachers in state schools work damn hard and there are some great schools out there, I also know the financial pressures they are under, the challenges they face and the tough choices they have to make. And also how kids, especially girls in big comps, can kind of fall between the cracks a bit, especially the ones in the middle who are not high flyers or the ones with extra challenges who rightly get extra attention. But I know that at her school now she will at least have the opportunity to flourish in whatever she wants to do and she will be taken care of. And it's up to her really if she takes that opportunity.
    Last edited by Hacker Khan; 26-May-2018 at 09:25.
    Tinkety tonk old fruit, and down with the Nazis.

  8. #8
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    Re: Private Schools... is it what it is cracked to be & not just toff?

    Years ago I thought I would never do it because it seems ridiculously expensive. While we are still years away from having to make a decision, it looks like the fees are less than we are currently paying for child care.

  9. #9
    Money List Winner pauldj42's Avatar
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    Re: Private Schools... is it what it is cracked to be & not just toff?

    Big difference in doing what you consider best for your child and sending them as a status symbol.

  10. #10

    Re: Private Schools... is it what it is cracked to be & not just toff?

    Quote Originally Posted by larmen View Post
    Years ago I thought I would never do it because it seems ridiculously expensive. While we are still years away from having to make a decision, it looks like the fees are less than we are currently paying for child care.
    My mate sent his kids to one of the most prestigious schools in Scotland. He always joked that as soon as they started he was actually saving money over his nursery fees.

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