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Am I right in saying that you should play the ball inside your left foot for all shots and position your right foot at a different position/distance from each other for different clubs eg. driver at the widest to a short distance for your wedges.

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i.i.r.c. this is more or less the method Nick Faldo presents in most of his books.

BUT, if I was to play the ball inside my left heel and then narrow my stance enough to get the ball in the middle for short irons, I'd stand so narrow, I'd just fall over, I'm sure

My preference is to set up with the ball "where I want it" and widen my stance accordingly. With short clubs, it's not really off the left heel....it's further back.